I am publishing these notes because I spend every hour of my life looking over the edge. The level of pain and despair I feel physically manifests itself to the point that I feel no hope at this moment. I have spent the last month in bed because I feel like there is nothing left for me here. Every moment of my life, this world has communicated to me clearly that I am not wanted and that I am not good enough. Everyone I love is gone, I am lost in a wilderness because society has driven me out, and everything I have spoken to communicate the truth has fallen on ears that did not care or ears that only had something to lose from the words that I speak. The only friend I have left is the witch of the forest the Christians drove out long ago. I protect her hut from the beasts of the woods because I love her, and it gives me purpose. When the day is over, she invites me inside so that my heart can feel warmth by her fire.

When people ask me if I have thoughts of suicide I tell them, “My thoughts of suicide are the ink well I dip my pen in before every word I write. I know the evil of this world will ensure my pen is never dry as I continue to write while maintaining my courage not to die.”

If these words help one person to stand the watch another day and communicate to the people I love how much they mean to me this website has completed its purpose.